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Humor

29.5.04

Þegar að maðurinn kemur heim! 



Þegar maðurinn kemur heim............
Svona var þetta í gamla daga..
Þessar reglur eru teknar úr kennslubók í heimilisfræði síðan 1950.

1. Hafðu kvöldmatinn tilbúinn á réttum tíma. Það veitir honum þá tilfinningu að þú hafir verið að hugsa um hann og að þér sé annt um þarfir hans. Flestir karlmenn eru svangir þegar þeir koma heim og tilbúinn matur er hluti af því að láta hann finna hversu velkominn hann er heim, en það er karmönnum nauðsynlegt.

2. Notaðu 15mín. til að snyrta þig og skipta um föt áður en hann kemur. Hann er að koma heim úr leiðinlegri og erfiðri vinnu og er þreyttur. Vertu svolítið hress og skemmtileg til að hressa hann við.

3. Taktu upp allt rusl og dót. Farðu eina umferð um húsið og safnaðu saman skólabókum, leikföngum, pappírsrusli og blöðum. Renndu svo tusku yfir borðin til að þurrka af og þrífa svolítið. Eiginmanni þínum mun finnast hann kominn í friðarparadís og það hefur mikið að segja fyrir hann.

4. Snyrtu börnin til. Það tekur aðeins nokkrar mínútur að þrífa hendur og andlit og greiða þeim.. Ef þarf, skaltu láta þau skipta um föt. Þau eru hans fjársjóður og hann vill sjá þau þannig.


5. Sjáðu til þess að húsið sé hljóðlátt. Slökktu á öllum vélum, s.s. uppþvóttavél, þvottavél, þurrkara og ryksugu. Reyndu að sjá til þess að börnin hafi hljótt. Taktu á móti honum með glöðu brosi.


6. Gættu þess að hella ekki yfir hann kvörtunum þegar hann kemur. Ekki heldur kvarta þó hann komi of seint í mat. Þú getur verið viss um að þínar kvartanir eru minniháttar í samanburði við það sem hann hefur þurft að þola yfir daginn.

7. Sjáðu til þess að hann hafi það þægilegt. Láttu hann halla sér aftur á bak í hægindastól eða stingdu upp á því að hann halli sér smástund í rúmið. Vertu tilbúinn með kaldan eða heitan drykk handa honum. Bjóddu honum að klæða hann úr skónum og hagræddu púðunum undir honum. Ræddu við hann með rólegri, mjúkri röddu. Leyfðu honum að slaka á.

8. Láttu hann ráða kvöldinu. Ekki kvarta þó hann fari ekki með þig út að borða eða á aðrar skemmtanir, reyndu í stað þess að skilja að hann hefur fengið sinn skerf af streitu og látum yfir daginn og þarfnast hvíldar heima.

10. Markmiðið er að gera heimilið að stað þar sem eiginmaður þinn getur fundið frið og reglu og getur slakað á eftir erfiðan dag.

27.5.04

Flott Ljóska/Fyrir Rodmaninn og vini.. 

Flott brjóst strákar,er það ekki? Jú jú allir sáttir við þetta held ég.....



26.5.04

True but strange laws in the USA! 

California

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour -
You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit. -
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. -
It is illegal to plant a garden in any public street. -
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. -
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time. -
Cars are the only item allowed in a garage. -
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course. -
It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent. -
You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time. -
You may not hunt moths under a street light. -
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand. -
Toads may not be licked. -
It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison. -
It is illegal to molest butterflies. -
It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM. -
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.-
Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house. -
Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it. -
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. -
It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar. -
The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250. -
Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash. -
It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear. -
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street. -
It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner. -
Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited -
Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times. -
Children may not wear a halloween mask unless they get a special permit from the sheriff. -
Males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff. -


Washington

All lollipops are banned. -
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town." -
People may not buy a mattress on Sunday -
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle. -
It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich. -
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed. -
It is illegal to attach a vending machine to a utility pole without prior consent from the utility company. Furthermore, if permission is granted, the vending machine may not be less than twelve feet from the ground. -
No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold. -
It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls. -
X-rays may not be used to fit shoes. -
Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail. -
It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window. -
Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment. -
Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term. -
No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission. -
TV's may not be bought on Sundays. -
Strippers may not come closer than four feet to any customer. -
No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing. -San Juan County Ordinance NO. 7 -1995 (Passed June 7,1995) -
You may not ride an ugly horse. -


New York

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse- blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll. -
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. -
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline. -
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. -
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket. -
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. -
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M. -
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. -
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing." -
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

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